Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Peer Review #2

Mataya:
1.       The claim is that the world is becoming overly controlled and effected by the use of technology. The thesis is that physical and mental health issues can come from overusing technology. And makes the claim that “technology runs our lives”.
2.       She gives a lot of support, many different facts about the way that childhood obesity has evolved parallel to the large advancements we make with our technology. The reasons are sufficient to give data showing a big difference between the ways kids grow up now, vs then.
3.       There isn’t much talk about counter arguments. The author acknowledges the fact that electronics can be beneficial and well woven into our daily lives, but she doesn’t really go over any possibilities that heavy use in electronics can have any benefit to our kids our or our lives these days. But it is noted that the influence they have on us is turning out to be too great of one.
4.       Sources blend in with claims well. Good job at supporting everything author says with accurate facts that closely relate to what you are saying. The sources are credible. But some aren’t as current as they could be to further prove her point. Being that technology has greatly evolved since 2012 even. (Mentioned part of the statistics in this essay.)

5.       The writer assumes that we can see a big change in the way the world works now as it is obviously always around us. I think the author is somewhat influenced by the wave pf technology now, but can also clearly see the negative effects it has on the world around us

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